Good Bye April!

I am saying a farewell to April. This has been the hardest month of my journey to get healthy! I have faced the ultimate challenges and distractions. I have had a hectic work load with my family being in town. I have been a caretaker for my grandmother and during that time I learned to put myself dead last. I would resent putting myself last and feel trapped, and then I would turn to junk food and binge eat. I have had a ton of binge eating episodes over the last two weeks and my family has been back around and I have felt myself slipping into my old pattern of putting myself on the back burner. I have kept up with my exercise this month, my strength training and my walking, but I fell off any type of eating routine. This month was a struggle and one that I just had to get through. The two lessons I learned this month, is that I must put myself first or pay the price of resentment and binge eating. The second and the most important lesson I learned was to never give up on myself even if I am having a bad meal, a bad day, a bad week or in this case a bad month. As long as you don't give up you cannot fail. I am happy to get back on track for the month of May. My plan for  May is forth coming.

CLM

Two Weeks to the End Of April

It feels like this month has lasted forever. I faced many challenges this month from my family being back in town to a ton of assignments at work. I have been on the go non-stop. There are some things I have done well this month. I have kept up with my weight training sessions with my personal trainer. I have wanted to quit at times as my life felt so hectic and I wanted to take some thing off my plate. What I have learned by pushing through with my twice weekly sessions is that after I train I feel so calm and relaxed. I never new lifting could release my stress and tension.

I have also kept up with my walking routine, really enjoying walking with my walking group at work. I have prevented any foot injuries that almost crept up.

I did track toward the start of the month, but I quickly abandoning daily tracking. My eating had been some what out of control over the last two weeks. I have been able to recover by jotting down what I eat on index cards, writing in my journal daily, especially my emotions. I have also written inspiring messages on index cards and set small goals for myself.

At this point in my journey I do feel ready to treat myself better by eating healthier foods. I am focusing on cutting back on flour and sugar products, and eating more fresh salads and fresh fruit. I am trying to fill up on fruits and vegetables. I feel that the only way to beat my addiction it to make some permanent changes to my eating habits, so I am cutting back on cheese, flour and sugar. I will check back in at the end of the month to see how I have done.

One salad down today and one more to go!

CLM

Back to the Middle!!!!!!

Back to the Middle

I have to realize that on my health journey I face unique challenges and a big one is the fact that I am a compulsive eater. As a compulsive eater it is important for me not to define my journey by the speed of my weight-loss or for me to fall into any perfect eating trap. I have to always remember as the OA is famous for saying, "It is Progress Not Perfection!" For these reasons I cannot totally give up sweets or after dinner snacking. On my journey I must make goals that are realistic and attainable, ones that I can truly live with as a part of my life style. Every single time I begin to get obsessed with the number on the scale, or start to compare my progress to others or attempt to give up sweets or after dinner snacking, I run into a brick wall. I am not saying that I will never be able to give up sweets or after dinner snacking, but I do know that for me I cannot define giving up sweets and after dinner snacking as victory for me. For me victory is defined as falling down and always getting back up. My commitment to simply keep moving forward no matter what it what I define as victory. I am giving myself credit for every single step I take towards my health and well-being. There are some areas I am better at than others, but having some thing to work on is a part of my journey. My journey does not have a fixed end point and it is not a straight lined path. My journey is about learning and growing. I have been on my journey since October 2012 and I have not quit.

CLM

The Sweet Life!

Yesterday was my first day off the Sweet Stuff. My greatest challenge was acting in that day instead of waiting until tomorrow. I just imagined myself stuffing myself with sweets and never being satisfied with any amount, no matter how great. I decided I did not want that to be me, so I cleaned house. I took a garbage bag which I had to double and I dumped (frozen fruit bars, fruit snacks, dried fruit leathers, m&m's, sherbet  sorbet, pudding and any other sweet treat I had hidden in the house including a bag of jolly ranchers.). I looked at the bag and noticed that this would have been a weeks worth of my sugar supply and I saw the size of my addiction. I tossed the bag in the dumpster and proceeded with my evening. My first day off the Sweets was a great day, I ended up finding the energy to cook up a nice meal of black eye peas, brown rice and mustard greens. I ate my evening snack of V8, a WW string Cheese, and a small pack of goldfish crackers. I came in at 1200 calories for the day. I am looking forward to the Sweeter Side of Life without Sweets. There is life after sugar.

CLM

I am Kissing Sweets Goodbye!

I have often thought about ditching the sweet stuff. My all or nothing personality has held me back. I could not rationalize passing up cookies while still eating bag's of chips. I realized that I can have an ascension diet, where I work on one step at a time. When I really think about it I have every thing to gain and nothing to lose by giving up sweets. While I may not be perfect, and am not ready to go whole hog and ditch snacks all together I can see an improvement in my life and health by making this cut. Let's say eating sweets represents 30% of my poor eating habits, imagine the calories, fat and sugar I can cut from my diet just by giving up sweets. Some people just cut sweet drinks and see a change in their health. I ditched sweet drinks long ago, and with taking this next step to cut sweets from my diet I feel that I will be giving myself the best gift possible. Down the road after this victory of breaking my sweet addiction I may yet have the power to rid myself of all unhealthy snacks. If nothing else I will have broken one more bad addiction and that is more than worth the effort. I am also going to start with the Big Bad Obvious Sweets (Cookies, Cake, Ice Cream and Pie) I am not going to stress over the sugar and Carb percentages of every item of food I take in, like eliminating bread, pasta and cereal. The Carbs I am cutting are specifically from the cookies, cakes and pie category  I will follow the golden rule, "Only eat treats that God Created! Aka fruit!). I believe that by focusing one this one specific step I will have success, in the past when I tried to give up sweets I lumped it in with a larger goal to completely give up junk food or eliminate after dinner snacking, which made it harder to focus on giving up the sweets. I like having a narrow and specific goal to work on. I am looking forward to the sweeter side of life without the cakes and pies.

CLM

Hello April

So far I have had a rough start to this month, I slacked on my tracking, at fast food and sweets. I am so happy I get a fresh start to get back on track. This month will be really challenging for me as I have a ton of distractions from projects at work to things I need to take care of at home. I will have to stay focused on getting my exercise in my any means necessary. I will also have to make sure that I am tracking my meals and snacks, eating 5 meals a day and planning those meals so that I make healthy choices automatic. I have to continue to learn to forgive myself and bounce back from mistakes quickly. I know I can do it.

CLM