Letter to self

Dear Carolyn,

Please do not give up. I know the road seems a little bumpy especially right now. Hang in there. Work hard and you will achieve success. Don't allow anyone to determine your worth. You can do it!

CLM

Where is the discipline?

The discipline in eating right is in my mind. I know that fruit and vegetables are good for me. I am going to commit to eating healthier. I believe I was making a hugh mistake trying to force stuff those energy bars into my body. The truth is they are too sweet. Thats right I do not enjoy them at all! I will just have 2 veggie patties and an apple sauce. Almost the same amount of calories only way better tasting. Since I am loading up so well on the protein at the first two meals I may be able to concentrate on just having a salad for dinner. I really need the vegetables any way. I will keep the unsweetened apple sauce though. I am going to make this little tweak and see where it takes me. I do need to practice controlled eating for a while. I know I will get better at it. I do want to watch my carbs and just get them from whole fruits and vegetables for a while. I think rice and potatos instead of processed grains which has extra sugar. I am going to try to make these adjustments and see if it will not help me stick to the plan better. I fell off the snack wagon this weekend. On saturday I threw away all my snacks. On Sunday I brought in extra. I suspect that my peace treaty with cereal was my real undoing! I am just going to have to follow my plan to the T no extra's fruit or cereal allowed. I have to take my sugar intake way down if I want to win this battle over the food cravings.

Behold my new and improved plan!

Breakfast- 2 veggie patties and apple sauce 300 cal

Lunch- 2 veggie patties and apple sauce 300 cal

Dinner- Salad with 2 veggie patties 300 cal

Total approximately 900 cal

CLM

Discipline and Hard Work!

So far I have eaten meals 1& 2 correctly today. It was tres uncomfortable not just letting loose on anything I wanted to eat. I especially found it difficult to say no to food offered at work. Still I know that eating right a work is going to be the easiest part of the journey and yet it was still hard. Instead of eating stuff I was not supposed to eat at lunch time I just straight took a nap!

Tonight I have to stick to my salad and veggie patties and for the first time in history on a friday night, I have to just say no to snacks of any kind! I may have to go to bed early or exercise to do it, but I will do it!

The old adage, "No pain, No gain." Is real. Only for me it's pain equals no gain on the scale!

CLM

Weak Points

I want to keep track of my areas of weakness.

1. I keep volleying between 250 and 260lbs, losing the same 10lbs. This would not be so bad if I was already at my goal weight of 150lbs!

2. I have stuck to eating healthy for 3 days! However my mind keeps getting distracted along the way. I break down and start cheating after 3 days and then a few weeks later I have no plan at all!

3. I do good during the day, but I am super tempted to eat fast food for dinner!

4. I want to eat a bunch of snacks after dinner!

5. I have no structured exercise that I am commited too not even one thing!

CLM

Day 1 Report

Well I ate meals 1 and 2 the energy bar and apple sauce.

I even ate the salad with 2 veggie patties.

Late at night when I was watching tv I broke down and ate chocolate cake and popcorn and ice cream!

Today my goal will be to follow the program and stay away from evening snacks no matter what.

Here are my goals.

1. Have 1 day without cheating!
2. Have 3 consecutive days wihtout cheating!
3. Have 5 consecutive days without cheating!
4. Havve 7 consecutive days without cheating!
5. Have 10 consecutive days wihtout cheating!
6. Have 14 consecutive days without cheating!
7. Have 21 consecutive days without cheating!
8. Have 28 consecutive days without cheating!
9. Have 30 consecutive days without cheating!
10. Have 60 consecutive days without cheating!
11. Have 90 consecutive days without cheating!
12. Have 100 consecutive days without cheating!
13. Have 6 months without cheating!
14. Have 1 year without cheating!
15. Have 5 years without cheating!

CLM

Making It Work!

I plan to really stick to the Wellness Program diet! I will print out mini calandars and I will stick little stars by each day that I have stuck to the program. After 60 stars I will place a bead in a cute little vase. When the vase is full I will treat myself to a day trip to some place nice where I will either hit the malls, eat in a fabulous resturant, or have a spa visit with massage and manicure, pedicure, or a night in a plush hotel! A shop til you drop session sounds right up my alley.

CLM

Update: Wellness Program

Well for the past three weeks I have been doing weight-watchers and I lost 5lbs. I am still 258lbs. I seem to stick around this weight. During my third week I fell into the same old bad habits. I ate pizza, cake and tons of junk food including string cheese and cheese it's. I realize I am a complusive overeater and an emotional eater. If I had the money I would check myself into a weight-loss clinic. Since I do not have the money I will start a plan, hopefully my last plan!

The Wellness Program

I will have 3 meals a day.

Meals 1 and 2

Zone bar and Apple sauce.

Meal 3

Salad and 2 veggie burgers.

Drink

Only water.

Last weighted in at 258lbs.

Will continue plan until I am 150lbs and have been at that weight for 5 years!

I will also be working out. I signed up with 24hr fitness. I will see how that goes, still having a little trouble working the fitness in, but I will add that to my program as soon I get a structured routine down! Will post my weight-loss weekly. Still attending wieght-watchers meetings for moral support!

CLM