The Morning Report

The Good:

Well I ate two meals while I was ate work yesterday, and I went for my walk. In the evening I are a large dinner, a burrito and a quesdilla and an iced tea. I seriously ate until I was stuffed.

The Bad:

I was up late watching tv and I ate a few forks full of chocolate cake and 2 fruit snacks.

It is difficult to decide what I really need to cut out to be successful. I like the discipline of the three meals, but I don't want to use it as a crutch to the point where I am ignoring the needs of my body. I'd like to get to the point where this isn't a struggle. I think what I really should have cut out was the late night sugar party I had. I also have to not stuff myself. I think was is really challenging for me is that my eyes have always been bigger than my stomach. I feel cheated when I have a don't have a large plate of food in front of me. I never listen to my body when it say's to stop eating. I am the girl that gets full from one burrito at taco bell, but will eat two anyway. This morning I was going to have my first meal and I was really thirsty so I drank a lot of water. I has set out a light yogurt and some cheese and crackers. The truth was that after I ate the yogurt I was too full to even think about the crackers. Some times I feel like I want to be a robot that is programed to eat in a routine. I just want to turn my brain on auto-pilot and not make any food decisions.

I will make a true confession!

Weight-loss especially the food aspect is really hard. Sometimes I want to do anything to lose the weight, even not eat at all. The truth is I have to really prob deeper into my issues with food, and find out why I have a bad relationship with food. I can't just blindly eat a set calorie amount I have to listen to my body and feed it healthy foods. I also can't be stuffing food haphazedrdly into my body not worrying about the calories. If my body really does want to eat more frequenyly then I am going to have to give it smaller meals. I may have to set the calorie max to like 150 instead of 300. I still need to make a strong effort to consume fruits and vegetables. I think I really want to eat more fresh fruit and trade my juice in for pure water. I think sugar and water may not mix for me.

The new plan:

Don't throw a shoe at me, because I am an excessive planner. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." The new plan is to be actively engaged in the weight-loss process by making an honest effort to listen to my body and eat healthy foods. My area of focus is to eat smaller meals. I will try to eat like I am a kid, or a patient that just had a bipass surgery and has the stomach the size of an egg. I will try to stop eating well before the container is empty. I will be wiser about where my calories come from. I will not become a crazy obsessed person who wants to lost 100 pounds in a week. I will slowly get my body back on track and I will believe in myself.

Love CLM